Maid MarianSue II: Revenge of her Daughter
by Fluff Club
Summary: [Written by Black Pixie and Sugarsprite] Marian-Sue's daughter is the smartest, most wonderful woman in the world. They OUGHT to live in Sherwood, leaving good authors alone, But the brat is kidnapped, filling our tale with historical innacuracies, and wo


_Hello, and welcome to more of the Marian-sue parodies! I am the President of the Fluff Club bidding you, Good morning, Good Day, Good Afternoon, Good Evening, or Good night! Welcome to The Fluff Club's Official Answer to the new genre of Marian-Sues out there, The Daughter-Sue._

_After The Fluff Club posted its first few series of Parodies, there was a decided less of the nasty stories we like to call, "Marian-Sue stories." Let us explain to you if you don't know the term: Maid Marian-Sue is the most wonderful, prettiest, bravest, kindest, sweetest, nicest Maid Marian known to man. She is a very good fighter, with skills even better than Robin Hood himself. She is also in possession of an evil father who would like to marry her off to some rich lord (who is also evil beyond all belief.) In tears, Maid Marian-Sue bids farewell to her sibling/horse named something that either has to do with snow or stars/nurse, then runs off into Sherwood Forest, to meet up with Robin Hood, the bravest, boldest, most righteous man in the world. The fall in love, and live happily ever after._

_Why is this bad, then?_

_BECAUSE IT'S BEEN DONE A HUNDRED THOUSAND TIMES AND BELIEVE US, WE KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!!!!!_

_Some authors can pull a Maid Marian off. For example, Mianne, an author in the Fluff Club, has a story in which her Marian has a few traits of Marian Sue. However, she was one of the first ones to write that genre, and her characters had development and flaws, and also seemed real. Plus, you know, she's a good writer. It was when other authors started copying her kind of story that we decided to do something. You'll find, somewhere in the backlogs of the Robin Hood Fandom, Different Parodies about how the Fluff Club decided to do things about Marian-Sues._

_Now, the Maid Marian-Sue stories are under control, but a new era of bad stories have taken hold. Stories about Robin's Child._

_The Vice President, Black Pixie and I, decided that we could not stand idle while new evils take hold. We had to fight. She and I decided to write a parody together, each of us writing a few paragraphs about Maid Marian-Sue's daughter._

**_IF YOU TOTALLY IGNORED ALL OF THE STUFF UP THERE IN THE EXTREMELY LONG A/N, PLEASE READ THIS:_**

The stuff in normal font is written by Black Pixie. _The stuff in italics is written by me, Sugarsprite._

_NOW ENJOY. LAUGH. GET OFFENDED IF YOU WISH. _

_Chapter One of Marian-Sue II: Her Daughter:_

_The Bestest Baby.

* * *

_

REVENGE OF THE MAID MARIAN SUE

* * *

It was a most joyous day when Maid Marian-Sue gave birth to her first and only child. As the birds sang, and the flowers suddenly sprung into bloom (even though it was in the middle of winter), the sun shone brighter, the snow melted and the stream thawed and bubbled with life, Maid Marian-Sue lay in bed, beautifully pale and delicate, and holding her sleeping babe close to her. The babe opened her eyes to reveal two identical sapphire pools, and all the outlaws who had gathered to witness the birthing swooned and fainted at the unparalleled loveliness of the child.

"She's beautiful, and therefore must have a beautiful, exotic and completely unheard of name. Something that sounds Persian, or maybe Greek, or Roman, or Spanish...and why not call her an American name? But I don't want to call her a Saxon, or Norman name; it would be too ordinary for a beautiful, perfect child like mine," Maid Marian-Sue declared brightly, not noticing that all her companions were unconscious. At that instant, Friar Tuck appeared with a scroll and quill in hand so he would forever preserve the name of Robin Hood and Marian-Sue's daughter upon parchment. Marian-Sue smiled at him and said in her clear, lovely, musical voice, "Her name shall be..._Poopsiepoo, because she is the most precious darling Poopsiepoo in the whole wide world."_

_Poopsiepoo looked up at her mother and giggled delightedly, even though everyone knows normal babies can't smile until they are two weeks old or so, because Poopsiepoo was the most wonderful baby the whole damn world._

_Marian-Sue smiled back at her darling, and fell back on the pillows, exhausted and with a high fever, even though, (since Poopsiepoo was the bestest baby in the world) her labor had only lasted thirty seconds. She tossed and turned on the bed, looking very pale and delicate. Unfortunately, since the baby was still in her tight embrace the tossing was not the best idea._

_"Oh shoot!" exclaimed Robin, snatching the baby and falling back over his darling again, sobbing hysterically._

_"There is a way to save her," said a voice from the depths of the shadows._

_The stranger stepped into the light, to reveal... _the evil Prince John. Robin's sobbing turned into a strangled cry of rage.

"You!" he spat, sounding incredibly like Kevin Costner performing a bad British accent in the process. "I thought my ever-so-perfect Maid Marian-Sue vanquished you a year ago. How did you get into Sherwood? Get outta Marian-Sue's forest! Can't you see that you offend her with your unsightly presence? OUT!"

"Ah yes, Marian-Sue did indeed vanquish me," Prince John replied, a smirk playing upon his lips. "But you see, I am a wizard of great magic as well and I was able to heal myself from my mortal wounds and was able to disguise myself as an outlaw and live in Sherwood Forest to spy on you."

Robin's jaw dropped for a moment. "That," he said loudly after some time, "is historically inaccurate."

Prince John brushed Robin's comment aside. "True," he replied. "But since when did history matter in the case of Marian-Sue's story? Don't you know that Marian-Sue authors must employ the most ridiculous villains and scenarios with made-up, historically inaccurate back stories? It's NOTHING short of a necessity you know. What is wrong with you man? You are married to THE one and only Marian-Sue; you, of all people, should know how the story must be told."

Robin lost his patience. "Shut up man, and tell me how to save my darling dearest, my one and only, my honey bunny, my sweetheart, my delicate flower..."

Prince John looked greedily at Poopsiepoo in Robin's arms. "Give me your child and I'll save Marian-Sue. Be assured I shall take care of your daughter as if she were my own. I'll teach her great and mysterious magics, and I'll train her in every single form of fighting known to man. So...what say you, Robin?"

_Robin sighed a sigh of pure defeat. What was he to do? It was a choice between his two darlings. Marian-Sue lay in a feverish sleep, whereas little Poopsiepoo gazed up at him lovingly with her azure orbs. Robin sighed again. He had never been the one to make decisions, ever since Marian-Sue had come into his life. He usually just looked on as his wife kicked the butts of whoever got in her way. He had become fat and idle as his wife had taken to do everything. She even got herself pregnant!_

_He looked down at his daughter one last time, and, closing his eyes in a grimace at giving away his precious daughter, he thrust her out to Prince John._

_Prince John grinned malevolently, and tossed his head back in an evil laugh. "Now Poopsiepoo is mine, and I can take her to be my daughter, so every bad author can live out their little princess fantasies!"_

_Poopsiepoo, being the most incredible infant in the world, glared up at Prince John and kicked him in the chin._

_"GYAAAAHHH!!!" cried Prince John, "You shall be my daughter! I shall have you, Poopsiepoo!" He then extracted a historically inaccurate bottle filled with historically inaccurate sleeping potion, and made her sleep._

_All of a sudden ..._Robin leaped forward desperately at one last attempt to retrieve his daughter, showing a great and rare display of strength and determination. Unfortunately, since Marian Sue had had done all the fighting for him in the past, he had let his good physique go and had acquired a rather large pot belly to rival Friar Tuck's in the process.

So as Robin leaped forward, his pot belly bounded forward too, and it hit Prince John right in his stomach, thus sending him flying out of the flower-covered hut they had been in. Prince John crashed by the great oak tree with little Poopsiepoo in his arms, and let out an unearthly shriek of pain. Robin was horrified at what he had done, fearing that he might've harmed his daughter and sank upon his knees in a great depression and wept.

But Poopsiepoo, being the incredible child of Marian-Sue that she was, had remained unscathed during the frightful commotion. She woke up, though. And cried. She howled and kicked, and tears streamed from her beautiful eyes, and her little arms were flailing in desperation. Why, the little creature had already developed a knack for being melodramatic and she was barely a day old!

"I'll HAVE NONE OF THAT YOUNG LADY!" Prince John shrieked, producing another one of his historically inaccurate potions to subdue the child. Then, with a wave of his hand, he summoned a great flying carriage, complete with a train of winged black horses, a driver, and a footman. He jumped into the carriage triumphantly, and jutted his chin at Robin, who was simply staring at him dumbly from the ground.

"The child is certainly mine now," Prince John hissed. "Oh and before I go, Robin: Did you ever consider that if this story were meant to be historically accurate, YOU wouldn't even exist?"

Robin was still staring at him dumbly, not quite knowing what to say in response. Marian-Sue had always responded for him, always spoke witty lines for him that Robin forgot all of his razor-sharp wit, seeing as how he had had his beloved to speak up for him. With that, Prince John bid his winged horses to fly out of the forest of Sherwood.

And that was the last time Robin saw his dearest Poopsiepoo for a long time.

Suddenly, a womanly shriek was heard within the hut. It was Marian Sue, and she had miraculously woken up from her fever. She rushed to the doorway were Robin was, and shook her husband. "Where is my darling daughter?"

_All Robin could do was shake his head in sorrow and pain. His Poopsiepoo was gone._


End file.
